Guess who’s not NOT gonna be a panelist at the 2010 Austin Film Festival and Conference?

Yep.

It’s true.

We’re not NOT gonna be panelists at this years Austin Film Festival and Conference, taking place October 21-24 in Austin, TX.

There’s a lot of other cool screenwriters who are not NOT attending, but fuck them.

WE are not NOT attending and that’s all that matters!

Details regarding panels and shit that we will NOT not be infecting with our patented Retard-O-Genius™ are forthcoming.

Hope to not NOT see some of you suckers there!

***

NOT NOT.

WHO’S THERE?

NOT NOT.

NOT NOT WHO?

MY BALLS.  CUP THEM.

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Hey!

LOOK!

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Wow. We haven’t posted anything here for a while now…

I wonder if we should?

And if so, I wonder what it should be about?

Thoughts anyone?

Oh, and here’s an animated GIF that makes me smile:

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WE’RE OFF TO NASHVILLE IN A FEW HOURS!

Watch the store while we’re away, will ya kids?

cover-trailer-dolphins

***Rumor has it we may be doing a second panel on Sunday morning, but don’t hold us to that.

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WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO OUR SITE?

Someone linked to our site on reddit.com this morning and now people are gang-raping our pussies at an unheard of rape rate!

Welcome, you raping fucks!

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THE ROBOTARD SPEAKS!

thinktard

That’s right.

The Robotard 8000 has been invited to speak at the 2010 Nashville Screenwriters Conference being held in Nashville, Tennessee (duh) from June 4th through 6th.

We will be part of a panel entitled, “Who the Hell is Going to Buy My Script? What the Studio World, the Indie World, and the Television World are Looking For From Spec Writers” with Derek Haas & Michael Brandt and Jeff Lowell (sadly, Rian Johnson and D.B. Weiss had to drop out, which is why we are so gallantly stepping in for them).

The panel runs from 3:45 – 5:00 pm on Saturday, but we recommend you check out the entire conference – lot’s of awesome writers (and good people) in a casual atmosphere with awesome live music and stuff.

So if you’re in the neighborhood or independently wealthy with the means to fly wherever you want whenever you want, come check it out.

*Rumor has it that Battle Dolphin Zero’s balls will be making a surprise appearance.
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SO…

You’ve now read BALLS OUT.

Unless you stopped reading it.

But you read part of it – of that much we are 98.174541817754% certain.

And so now is the time to shit.

Shit all over it.

Go ahead.

Take as long as you like to pucker.

Our programming is exceptionally patient.

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One Day Only

I recently wrote this thing.

But no one cares.

So I’m gonna post it here for shits and giggles.

For one day.

One day only.

DIE SCREAMING

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An Uncharacteristically Low-Key Post Regarding Our Greatness

Well, it’s official.

The Robotard 8000 is now gainfully employed.

That’s right.

You heard me, bitch.

We are employed professionally.

For money.

CASH MONEY!

For awhile, anyway.

We can’t really go into detail at the moment, but both BattleDolphinZero and I are moist with delight in finally reaching our goal of getting someone to fork over cash in exchange for our patented brand of smartarded humor.

What started as frustration has ultimately led to CASH-tration, y’all!

Now we just need to land six high profile gigs before the end of the year so we can finally slough off our individual careers and STICK OUR COLLECTIVE FINGER UP THE ASS OF “THE MAN” ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!

But even if we don’t, we’re tickled.

This tickles us.

This tickles us like some sort of analogy where something gets tickled to a demonstrative extreme.

(Hmm…I wonder if anyone has hired “Mystery Man” to write for money yet?)

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2010 is finally here? THANK HOLY FUCK FOR THAT!

Man, I tell ya, I have never been so happy to see a year end.

FUCK YOU, 2009!

FUCK YOU AND YOUR COMMIE FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!

2010 is looking much sexier.

MUCH sexier.

So sexy in fact that we’ve been too busy to post.

But fear not!

Everything will be back to normal in a few days and we’ll continue with our intermittent, stupid ramblings, if for no other reason than to amuse our chronically bored selves.

Unless, you know, we can get a good game of LEFT 4 DEAD 2 together…

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