That’s right.

While you were all so certain that we were spending our ill-gotten internet cred on one-handed hookers and nosebleed medication, we were off whipping up a sure-fire hit TV show, something so simple yet so painfully entertaining  it would no doubt make us the newly-crowned KINGS of television!

You can guess what happened from there.

Anyway, we love the fuck out of this script and as always, as a last resort, we turn to you, THE INTERNET, to either validate our awesomeness or shit down our throats like the people with money do.

Now, a word about this pilot script.

It was written by founding Robotard member BATTLE DOLPHIN ZERO and adjunct member TODD KARATE under the close medical observation of MONGO NEEDFOOD (that’s me).

We think you’re gonna dig the fuck out of this.

Anyway, without any further ado, we present to you…THE BEST ANIMATED TV PILOT EVER WRITTEN BY US!

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm, brainsick welcome to…


About Mongo

Kimba eat potato.
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  1. Mongo says:

    No comments, huh?

    Not ONE?

    You know just how to hurt us, internet…

  2. KLeonard says:

    Just finished reading it.

    Pat yourselves on the back. Some great laughs in there and tons of potential. Already being a hugs Adult Swim fan, I’d love to see this in their line-up.

    As soon as I become rich or a powerful exec, I’ll start getting your shit made.

  3. Mongo says:

    Thanks, KL.

    Please hurry and start getting our shit made.

    We’ve got bitches to fund.

  4. battledolphinzero says:

    I will comment: Fuckin’ sweet, dude. U r d best! D best writers. I predict when you die next year people will regret not ever making your shit.

  5. Mongo says:

    Hey, I don’t think you should joke about my ass cancer until I’ve actually beaten it.

  6. clueless says:

    Great shit.

    35 pages is how many minutes?

    Good Luck

  7. Mike says:

    Dude, just read through, some good laughs… I imagine the translation to the screen would only multiply that…

    Lets hope KLeonard hurry’s his as up and funds this shit!

  8. I look forward to reading this but my computer Internet is on the fritz. Without spoiling it, is this about an asshole dude in Hackensack who doesn’t know his outer forearm blocks from his scissor kicks? If so, I know that prick. He beat me in a sparring match to win the central Jersey title.
    FYI…I ended up having the last laugh. I got a bj from his preggers girlfriend in the back of a Pepperidge Farm outlet store!
    It was rad! So Take that Asshole!

    Anyway, good luck with the tv play. I look forward to reading it.

  9. battledolphinzero says:

    Wolf, we totally would have cheated on our boyfriends with you if we were whorish chicks in the same town.


  10. Battle Dolphin Zero,

    Thank you for your kind words. Let me also say that your name would also make a great tattoo.
    One day when I am in LA I will let you know and we can hang. I will make you a dreamcatcher. I also know Jake the Snake Roberts and next AA meeting I can get you an autograph on an authentic military snake bag.

    I am glad we are best friends.

    Do you have Waffle Houses out there? I’m more of a Dennys type of guy but I’m trying to lose weight.


  11. Josh says:

    Kudos, Sirs, This was the greatest way for me to waste a half hour, i laughed my ass off. So far, I’ve read balls out and this, you’re two for two. That’s hard to do, so, again Kudos, keep up the good work.


  12. Melissa says:

    You guys are AWESOME.

  13. Matt Hugs says:

    I don’t watch TV, but I might watch this. Along with Curb.

  14. Matt Hugs says:

    I just read Asshole Ninja again and it’s probably one of the best things I’ve ever read. It really is fucking amazing. I mean, the second punch to the master’s face, it just doesn’t get any better. You’ve done it. I wish I knew how, and will mimic as best I can, because you’ve fucking done it.

    Ignore all that other shit I wrote in the past year, I can barely hold a cogent train of thought as it is, but your writing is a goddamn inspiration and I want you to know that you’re among my heroes. You, Sam (the sheepdog from looney tunes), Bruce Willis, and Mac from Predator – heroes.

    So far my screenwriting blows (I tried action/adventure – stupid), and I have decades of catching up to do thanks to a squandered youth dealing with feelings, insecurity, and a penchant for failure. All I have to show for myself so far are some brief comic/reviews trying to convey my hatred or enjoyment of certain popular movies. I only found out about tumblr last week (and it blows), but I’ve got some up there if you’d care to see what you’ve inspired (writing wise).

    Your online scripts are bibles to me, and I’ll do my best to write material that doesn’t cater to the seemingly stale standards of success today. Screenplays like yours will loosen the firmly pressed seat cushions of production companies everywhere. If so, then maybe I can finally pay to see something that doesn’t lick horse chutes.

  15. Scoo says:

    Read two pages of Balls Out and couldn’t stomach anymore. Seriously, it sucked! Glanced through the rest of it – total trash!

  16. Scoo says:

    If your script was rated one of the best in Hellwood, then God help us. And sorry, I’m a woman…and I can write my ass off. You are really sort of disgusting!

  17. Scoo says:

    You represent the male sexist crap that is the WORSE that Hollywood has to offer. Maybe you can crack a few one liners here and there that aren’t totally gross – but I couldn’t find a cogent storyline in there with a magnifying glass!

    Well there really aren’t enough bad things I can say about you, it would take all day, so I will stop. You represent everything about Hollywood studios that I hate. And saying fuck every two seconds doesn’t make you a great or a funny writer.

  18. Mongo says:

    Glad you were fucking able to glean so fucking much from two fucking pages, Scoo. Maybe fucking next time, we’ll spring for fucking sex changes and learn to fucking write our fucking asses off until we fucking rise to your fucking standards of fucking excellence.

    Or maybe we’ll just ignore the opinion of someone who criticizes something they haven’t read.

    But we’ll probably just get the fucking sex changes…

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