THE ROBOTARD 8000

That’s right.

After many long weeks of waiting and wondering, we’re finally able to announce the winner of our MYSTERY GUEST SONG QUEST contest!

Are your loins tingling with anticipation?

Well, they should be.

For the winner of MYSTERY GUEST SONG QUEST will receive a copy of the coveted SPECIAL EDITION of BALLS OUT, complete with a fingerpainted vagina still-life from me and two randomly stuck-together pages courtesy of Battle Dolphin Zero and his balls.

And now the moment has arrived.  Hand me the envelope, BDZ…

Drumroll, please.

The winner of MYSTERY GUEST SONG QUEST is…

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NOBODY.

THAT’S RIGHT.

NOBODY WINS.

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Not a single person came up with the correct answer.

In fact, only a handful of people even tried.

We’re really disappointed in you.

We thought we had a relationship.

We thought we had a bond.

We thought that we shared a zest for playful living and summer vegetables.

But we didn’t.

Better still, you didn’t.

Not you.

You’re too busy with your YouTube and your Face Books and your pointless Twinterings to participate in our jaunty little contest.

Me and BDZ, you know, we have no souls, so we can take it.

But our triple booked (2 assignments and a weekly) screenwriter buddy, the one with the glorious voice that I made better by throwing every instrument in the book at?

Well he’s crushed.

CRUSHED.

Shame on you people!

Shame on you for breaking a breaking a multi-millionaire’s sensitive heart!

Earlier today, a so-called screenwriting blogger posted a review of BALLS OUT.

And it’s hysterical.

But not in the way you think.

Never, in the history of ever, has anyone so thoroughly missed the point of something.

It always amazes me when novice or wanna-be screenwriters (who often call themselves “pre-pros”, which is as nauseating a term as I have ever heard) espouse their belief that screenplays MUST adhere to a rigid set of rules in order to have any chance of success.

I can say, with absolute authority, that this is NOT true.

Is it wise to have a grasp of grammar and basic screenplay formatting when writing a script?

Certainly.

Is it the most important aspect of writing a screenplay?

Certainly not.

The most important thing one needs to do is to tell a compelling story in a compelling manner.

I have read absolutely drivel that is immaculately formatted and grammatically perfect.

And I have read wonderful scripts told in a commanding manner with fascinating characters that are riddled with grammatical errors and formatting inconsistencies.

Can you guess which ones got made?

Well, they both did, but that’s not the point.

Hmm…

What was the point again?

Oh yeah.

Some clueless pre-pro format Nazi reviewed our script and it’s really funny.

Check out his review HERE.